Monday, January 25, 2016

Reassessing What Goals Mean

I've been thinking about a new post for awhile, but for some reason, I just have not been able to write. A lot as happened since the last post, but nothing nearly as exciting as getting engaged to Dave. We took a road trip to Glacier National Park, which was absolutely amazing, and were constantly hiking in the Sierra. Heck, we even went to see Florence + The Machine at the Hollywood Bowl! Oh, and we've been skiing non-stop since Mammoth opened a week early. Hooray for snow! I've had plenty to write about, but it just hasn't felt right. Then I got a little nudge from Jim that the bionic woman seemed to have fallen off the face of the Earth. He was right: I had fallen off the face of the Earth it seemed, in so many ways (that I won't go into right now). His little nudge also made me realize that the three-year ouchiversary was only a month away! Yikes! Where does time go?!

Three Years and Counting...

Usually I set goals to conquer on the ouchiversary, but I haven't been able to think of something that means a lot to me this season. For the one-year mark, I just wanted to be on skis again, so we toured around the Lakes Basin. That scared the crap out of me and it's FLAT!! On the two-year mark, I skied my first black diamond, which was what I was about to do the day of the accident. That scared the crap out of me too, since it was way out of my comfort zone and things still hadn't 'clicked' yet, but Maggie made it super fun! For the three-year mark, I just can't seem to think of anything that means something to me. I mean, I eat up the black diamond I skied on the two-year mark like it's no big deal now. I've toyed with the idea of skiing Dave's Run or something off the top, but that really doesn't mean anything special to me. I've just not been that much into a "goal" for some reason… probably because I’ve been more into setting skiing goals for the season as a whole.

I was reminded this past week that I don't need to prove anything to anyone. I don't need to prove anything to myself. I broke my back almost three years ago, and unless you know about it, you wouldn't be able to tell. I'm skiing all the time again, infinitely better than before, and loving every second of it. I spent A LOT of time in lessons with Disabled Sports Eastern Sierra last season, and that has definitely paid off. I'll never be able to thank them enough for making skiing fun again for me (I’ve heard a rumor that I might attempt to volunteer for them next season). I almost feel like I’m back in my groove, a much better skiing groove than before, and accepting the “new normal”. I’m so appreciative of this new normal and have definitely learned through this whole bionic adventure, not to take anything for granted. I still have my moments, but I'm leaps and bounds ahead of where I thought I'd ever be after what happened three years ago, and loving every second of it! 

What will I do for the three-year ouchiversary since I don't have a "goal"? Will I ski Dave's Run before my Dave does? Maybe. Will I rip down a black diamond? Probably. Will I be skiing with friends? Most definitely! I might not have a "goal", but I know that I'll have a smile on my face the entire time!

Disclaimer :: I don't really feel totally committed to this post like I normally do with all of my others. It just didn't feel like my head and heart were fully into this one.